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After Joann died, I went through a long period of spiritual dryness. I cried several times every day, I didn't sleep for almost three months, and my work suffered, though I had the support of many of my co-workers. I didn't know why she had to die, and I didn't know what being a single parent was all about. I was about to find out what was to be the blueprint for my future.
I woke up in the middle of the night, as was common when I wasn't sleeping. But this time I was drawn to the Bible, which I hadn't been able to read since Joann died. And opening to what I considered a random page, I read 1 Chronicles 4:10: "Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request."
What Jabez asked God was to bless him God's way, not by Jabez asking God to bless him. And to give him more responsibility (enlarge his territory) and to keep him free from harm. I read this over and over and prayed it myself.The following Sunday I met a woman in church who was widowed a few months earlier. I had never talked with her before, and we began to talk about how hard this was for both of us. At the same time we began to think about how the church could help people who were single and parents. The following week, we talked again and were amazed that both of us could be thinking of the same thing. Soon, a ministry group was formed at my church, with Barbara and me leading. I couldn't imagine leading a single parents group being a new single parent, but God had those plans already.
I also began working with Habitat for Humanity, an ecumenical Christian organization that builds affordable housing for those who couldn't afford a house but could pay a lower amount. And, I found an online community of widows and widowers called Widownet, whose message board was the only thing that kept me up late from then on. I finally found solace in people who felt like I did.
A year passed, and I found myself in Colorado on the anniversary of Joann's death. That day, I was busy driving from Colorado Springs to Durango, Colorado, by way of Caņon City. Andy and I had already been to California, Rochester, NY and Pennsylvania, visiting friends, so this was the last vacation we were able to take. I met my mother in Colorado, and had a nice time with family, including my 90+ year old grandfather. And, in this year, I was let go from Genuity, in a desperate reduction-in-force that let almost 1700 employees go to save cash. It wasn't enough, and they went into bankruptcy by the end of 2002.
In 2003, more than two years had gone by. I still thought of Joann every day, but opened to new possibilities in every facet of my life! I have been busy with friends that mean a lot to me. I'm not on Widownet anymore, I seem to have grown past it.
Then, in early 2004, God showed Himself fully in the way of His plan for my life. I had been counseling other people in my church, and went through the 40 Days of Purpose. I prayed daily how God would measure what I could do for him, and how I could be the single dad I should be. I signed up, on faith, for one more singles conference at the Word of Life in New York. That was in January, 2004.
To the finish! >>>>>>>