Monday, January 27, 2003
Unbelievable. It's been 27 days since the last blog. What have I been doing? My brain has been on literary shutdown since the beginning of the new year. I think it happened that with the coming of writing checks with 2003 on them, my writing had gone on hiatus until I was comfortable with 2003. I'm still not certain I am though.
Melancholy. Many songs have been written about it, many people describe themselves as melancholic. What is it that puts one in a state of melancholia? And how many ways can I spell melancholy? Well, for me it is a state of emptyness, of a lack of purpose. Not working and being lonely. And hearing about death on the negative side, and seeing life going on around me in the world of coupled love on the positive side. How can this be, with the love of the Savior in my life? Its being a single parent, still hurting seeing that it is over nineteen months since Joann died, doing many things without a seeming purpose. But you know, this is a wilderness. This is being out to lunch. This is feeling apart from God.
So, what can change? Me. I need to trust that God provides. And this past weekend, I saw a vision of my life with trusting God as the apex of my life. I went again to the Word of Life Inn in New York for a Singles Conference Weekend. Ric Garland spoke on relationships: the relationship between you and God, you and others, and you with yourself. What I've learned went beyond the teaching, it went to the heart of me. It was as if I saw myself, still single but happier than I am now, in the future. But knowing that I have a lot to do to strengthen my relationships with God, my family and friends, and me.
Friends are important, and I'm so glad I saw Tim, Cheryl, Dottie, Anthony, Billie Jo, Mary, Annemarie, Janice and Tony again. It was a distinct pleasure to meet Mario, Chris, Bill, Stephanie, Irene, Paul, Ralph, David, Tammy, Lisa and Rita. And it was so great to have Lettie and Kathryn come all the way up north to attend too. My single parents group, Barbara, Dawn and Kevin were there too. My friends, thank you for a great weekend of fellowship. And thanks to Mike Bush and Steve Bowen, Tracy Coates, Chris Coates, and the rest of the WOL staff. See you in August.
I promise that the muse will not stay away from the blogging that defines me. Bonjour!
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Melancholy. Many songs have been written about it, many people describe themselves as melancholic. What is it that puts one in a state of melancholia? And how many ways can I spell melancholy? Well, for me it is a state of emptyness, of a lack of purpose. Not working and being lonely. And hearing about death on the negative side, and seeing life going on around me in the world of coupled love on the positive side. How can this be, with the love of the Savior in my life? Its being a single parent, still hurting seeing that it is over nineteen months since Joann died, doing many things without a seeming purpose. But you know, this is a wilderness. This is being out to lunch. This is feeling apart from God.
So, what can change? Me. I need to trust that God provides. And this past weekend, I saw a vision of my life with trusting God as the apex of my life. I went again to the Word of Life Inn in New York for a Singles Conference Weekend. Ric Garland spoke on relationships: the relationship between you and God, you and others, and you with yourself. What I've learned went beyond the teaching, it went to the heart of me. It was as if I saw myself, still single but happier than I am now, in the future. But knowing that I have a lot to do to strengthen my relationships with God, my family and friends, and me.
Friends are important, and I'm so glad I saw Tim, Cheryl, Dottie, Anthony, Billie Jo, Mary, Annemarie, Janice and Tony again. It was a distinct pleasure to meet Mario, Chris, Bill, Stephanie, Irene, Paul, Ralph, David, Tammy, Lisa and Rita. And it was so great to have Lettie and Kathryn come all the way up north to attend too. My single parents group, Barbara, Dawn and Kevin were there too. My friends, thank you for a great weekend of fellowship. And thanks to Mike Bush and Steve Bowen, Tracy Coates, Chris Coates, and the rest of the WOL staff. See you in August.
I promise that the muse will not stay away from the blogging that defines me. Bonjour!
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