I have been reading material for research, primarily in single parenting, and sometimes I discover articles that don't quite fit the mold. Terrence Moore is a principal of a K-12 school; before that, he was a Marine and a college professor. Moore has been in a position to study the roles of boys and girls as they mature into young men and women, and discovered something I think I knew about thirty years ago. Here's how he puts it:

I have deliberately tried to figure out whether the nation through its most important institutions of moral instruction—its families and schools—is turning boys into responsible young men. Young women, always the natural judges of the male character, say emphatically "No." In my experience, many young women are upset, but not about an elusive Prince Charming or even the shortage of "cute guys" around. Rather, they have very specific complaints against how they have been treated in shopping malls or on college campuses by immature and uncouth males, and even more pointed complaints against their boyfriends or other male acquaintances who fail to protect them. At times, they appear desperately hopeless. They say matter-of-factly that the males around them do not know how to act like either men or gentlemen. It appears to them that, except for a few lucky members of their sex, most women today must choose between males who are whiny, incapable of making decisions, and in general of "acting like men," or those who treat women roughly and are unreliable, unmannerly, and usually stupid.

The article, Wimps and Barbarians, explores the possible reasons our nations young men are not getting the training to become responsible young men. In a book that also speaks of the topic, "Bringing Up Boys," Dr. James Dobson believes it is the breakdown of the family structure and a lack of role models; with dominant women and the message of the Hollywood Establishment guiding the growing of young men. In some ways, that explains the "wimps" as, In Moores's words, "...suffer from a want of manly spirit altogether. They lack what the ancient Greeks called thumos, the part of the soul that contains the assertive passions: pugnacity, enterprise, ambition, anger. Thumos compels a man to defend proximate goods: himself, his honor, his lady, his country; as well as universal goods: truth, beauty, goodness, justice."

And you may ask, why I knew this thirty years ago? The descriptions of the behavior Moore describes as "wimps and barberians" is something I've witnessed in college, and know those same people as the same today. I hate to bash my gender, but some men are cartoony version of men. As a parent, with little time to go for the influence you can have before they leave the house, it is a ten-alarm call to be sure that he grows up knowing what a real man, not what a caricature of a man, is.

The article by Terrance Moore is worth a read, and open for discussion. Next time, I'll look at the girls and the compromises they incorporate into their lives.


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